DeSean Jackson: Even though this site is only a few days old, DeSean is already a first ballot Footbawful Hall of Shamer for last night's historic gaffe. The rookie, after "scoring" his first NFL touchdown, flicked the ball down and starting funky chicken dancing in the end zone. There was only one problem: He dropped the ball before he reached the end zone. Oh yes he did...

Naturally, the Cowboys challenged and won. Fortunately for the Eagles, they got the ball back at the one yard line and Brian Westbrook ran it in on the very next play. Which means that DeSean actually earned praise from Westbrook fantasy owners all across the country. Makes you wonder if DeSean has Westbrook on his fantasy team...

The rook finished the game with six catches for 110 yards, just surpassing his first week totals of 6 catches for 106 yards. Perspective Alert! That makes DeSean only the second player in league history to begin his career with back-to-back 100-yard games. The other one? Not Jerry Rice, or Randy Moss, or Terrell Owens, or Marvin Harrison. It was a man named Don Loony, who did it for Philly in 1940.

Now, lest you think this was an isolated incident for an irrationally exuberant rookie, take heed: In a 2005 high school all-star game, DeSean spread his arms for a swan dive into the end zone, only to land at the 1. Ah, just what the NFL needed. Another talented prima donna receiver.

The first half defense: I guess that's a misnomer, since there wasn't really any defense played in the first half. Unless you count the interception Tony Romo threw directly to Asante Samuel. (This was the first mistake Romo has made in the last 12 months that was not blamed on Jessica Simpson, making it a semi-notable moment.) The first half ended Eagles 30, Cowboys 24. And in case you're wondering, the answer is: Yes, those 54 points set a record for the second-most first half in Monday Night Football history.

Mike Tirico, Ron Jaworski and Tony Kornheiser: Yes, it was a fun game filled with lots of scoring, lead changes and drama. And the broadcasting team was excited about it. Some might say too excited. I was fully prepared for the screen to fill up with random squigly lines from Kornheiser humping the telestrator. Seriously, I've been a part of less enthusastic bachelor party trips to Vegas. What are Mike, Ron and Tony going to do now that their lives have officially peaked? It's all downhill from here. I predict they'll go into a full-fledged depression during the Week 6 Giants-Browns matchup, and that we might see TV's first on-air suicide during Week 11's Browns-Bills game.

First Half Tony Romo: Just when it looked like Dallas was about to run away with the game, Romo turned things around -- for the Eagles -- by tossing an interception and fumbling the ball away on consecutive snaps. This spun the game's momentum in Philly's favor, and before you could say "Romo'd!" the Cowboy's 14-6 lead had transformed into a 30-21 deficit. Say it with me kids: Wah-wah-waaaaaaaah.

Fourth Quarter Donovan McNabb: He sure has looked great in the first two games, reminding NFL fans everywhere what he can do when he's, you know, healthy. (Which should last at least two and a half to three more games, by the way.) But he sure did bone things down the stretch, didn't he? The Eagles were leading 37-31 early in the fourth quarter and moving the ball at will -- they were already in Dallas territory -- when McNabb needlessly double-pumped a handoff to Brian Westbrook. Westbrook couldn't recover...but the Cowboys got a field goal to pull it to 37-34. And yes, they went on to score. McNabb couldn't take the Eagles anywhere on their next possession, and a Cowboy drive ended in a Marion Barber touchdown to give Dallas a 41-37 lead. McNabb then suffered two of his four sacks in Philly's final series, which allowed the Cowboys to ice the game. It was a classic example of a quarterback hanging onto the ball too long trying to make something happen. And his team paid for it. Oh well. Maybe he can go drown his sorrows in some Chunky Soup.

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There was so much Bawful in this game we might have to start a whole separate website!

Blogger Rahim said...
haha, id like to see that clip of him in high school.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"Ah, just what the NFL needed. Another talented prima donna receiver." could have been worded "Just what the Eagles needed. Another talented prima donna receiver." (Freddie Mitchell, TO).

Anonymous Ryan said...
wait, what's so bad about a Browns Bills matchup??